I finally get time to mull over my thoughts now, but my brains so crammed with boy troubles that I need to start a diary to try make any sense of them. I feel like a teenager again. I’m supposed to be a strong, independent single mum, but instead I’m still suffocating with crushes and heart bruises over stupid boys. Maybe some things just never change. Maybe I’ll be 80 and still getting butterflies over the wrinkly old man stinking of urine in the corner of the old folks home.
Two things I’ve learned this week. Firstly, I have a sell-by date of a year and three quarters. If, on the off chance, I do manage to maintain a relationship for this hideous amount of time, this is the approximate end date for the relationship; the moment the boy beside me looks at me and decides he’s had enough. Secondly, I fancy any boy (within reason!) that does not show attraction back to me. Take my friend, for instance, not physically my type in any which way but his lack of interest in me has me desperately trying to get him to look at me in a way other than a friend. The very thing I strive against with every male friend I have. I know that if he did starting liking me in that way though, the angst and want would be gone. He'd become just another male friend who got on my nerves. I feel I may have a mild psychological problem in this regard.
Anyway, I'll hopefully start getting into this Livejournal thing a bit more. I'm currently writing to no one...and I'm not sure if that's what I want yet or not. Probably best to get involved a bit more I suppose! :)